I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
