He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
