I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
