you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize