i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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