I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
