I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
