I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
