My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
