This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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