I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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