I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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