Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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