Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
