He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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