I wanna bring you to show and tell
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
