My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
