Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
