Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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