Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
