why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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