i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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