Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
