i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
