do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
