you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
