Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
