great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
