my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
