He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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