I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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