Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
