you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
