Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
