Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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