Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
