hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
