Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
