conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize