i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
