Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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