This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
