Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
