scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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