don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize