ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
