i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
