When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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