To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
