how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The ass gains better be worth it
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