shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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