he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
