I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
