I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The uberlube is also flammable
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
