Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
