Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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