Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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