they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize