Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
