Are we in a gay sports bar?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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