Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
