No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
