I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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