in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
