just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
