You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize