Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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